Adhering to the yogic principle of non-possessiveness—the fifth yama—is a challenge. But its power cannot be denied. When I’m able to replace possessiveness with gratitude, my life improves dramatically!
How does this work?
If you’re familiar with the yamas and niyamas, you know they are guidelines for living. I sometimes think of them as the Ten Commandments of yoga, since there are five yamas and five niyamas.
Depending on the translation, the fifth yama (aparigraha in Sanskrit) means non-possessiveness, non-attachment, or non-coveting. Though the translations are slightly different, they refer to the same basic idea. That idea, in a nutshell, is gratitude.
Does that surprise you?
I associate coveting with envy or perhaps wanting something I don’t already have. (Non-coveting is also one of the Ten Commandments.) Attachment is the inability let go of something I already have. This can include letting go of desire or a plan to accomplish or achieve something.
Possessiveness can mean a few things. I can neglect to share something I own, or I can be possessive of another person. I may even try to control another person’s actions if I’m worried about how those actions may affect me or something important to me.
In all of these cases, what’s missing is a focus on gratitude for what I have without clinging to it.
Gratitude Changes The Game
On a spiritual path, we feel at odds with the world. We’re often tempted to chase what the world expects of us or feel like we don’t fit in. It can get discouraging and depressing. When we’re attached to the ways of those around us (and who isn’t at times?), we often suffer.
Even if we do live up to expectations, life can feel empty, tempting us to think achieving more or fitting in more will relieve our pain. Relationships, along with material possessions and career or academic accolades, are among the things that can trip us up. We all know someone who will do whatever it takes to make connections or achieve recognition.
So, what can we do about this?
When I find myself envying someone else’s life, it’s not necessarily because I believe I need what that person has. If I look deeper, I can see my envy stems from fear that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t have what the group seems to value. When I recognize that feeling of “not enough,” I try to practice gratitude.
For me, aparigraha is most challenging when it comes to loss. Years ago, I lost a job I loved and cared about doing. More recently, a close friend moved away, and a yoga studio I treasured closed, leaving me without one of my favorite teachers for a while. And just last year, I had to move out of a home I loved. Accepting change and letting go is hard. But it’s also a clear opportunity for growth.
Practice Aparigraha By Being Grateful
So, instead of thinking of aparigraha in terms of what not to do (don’t covet, don’t envy, don’t want what you do not have), I like to think of it as gratitude. For me, practicing aparigraha means focusing on the things I’m grateful for. And when I focus on those things, I realize there are many, which makes it easier to let go of the desire for more.
And here’s another awesome thing: Letting go opens doors to more! I’m now doing new and different work that I love. I have new friends and new yoga teachers, and my new home is cozy and much less expensive than the one I moved out of.
To appreciate these things, I had to let go of my former attachments. I also had to practice gratitude for the new experiences and people that came into my life. This is the power of the fifth yama. Less is truly more!
And, of course, I always need to be ready to let go again. Such is life. Such is yoga.
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Hi, I’m Maria. I created Yoga Circles for you if you want to delve more deeply into the philosophy, practice, and life-changing effects of yoga. I’m also a writer and editor who helps small business owners, wellness professionals, teachers, and authors publish books, develop marketing strategies, and connect with readers, clients, and students. Visit my website (link below) for more about that. I’d love to hear from you!